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We've lost all track of time. A quarantine kit for whatever month you find yourself in now.

Updated: Apr 20, 2021

We haven't sent a quarantine kit your way yet in May. Oh. Shit. We just proof-read this and realized that it is April. Wow. That's no good.

Well, what is time now, anyway? We're going to continue with our original text. Most of it is still accurate.


You might be out in the yard, digging in the dirt, or walking the dog. You might also be climbing the walls. Whatever you're up to, here's a little May quarantine love for your weekend. Heavy on female chefs, food writers, and chicken.


  1. On Chicken Tenders by Helen Rosner

  2. My Restaurant Was My Life for 20 Years. Does The World Need It Anymore? by Gabrielle Hamilton

  3. All the things about Fiona Apple and Fetch the Bolt Cutters | here (wherein Pitchfork gives it a perfect 10) and here (wherein Kristin Iverson gets to interview her) and here (wherein Kristin Iverson once wrote:)

"To be a girl growing up in the late-'90s was to be told that you were witnessing the dawning of a new era in music, one dominated by women. To be a girl growing up in the late-'90s was to be told this by men. It was men, mainly—all but entirely—who wrote the stories of these women; it was men who decided to change women's primary narrative in music from one in which women were condemned for being both the figurative and literal harbingers of male destruction (see: Yoko Ono and Courtney Love), to one in which women were celebrated, it felt like, precisely so that men could retain relevance by maintaining control of these women's narrative; women were celebrated so that they could be dissembled, put in their separate compartments—explained. And the woman who—more than anyone else—these men most liked to explain was Fiona Apple."

Also, no lyric has ever seemed more timely: "Fetch the bolt cutters/I've been in here too long"


  1. Blood, Bones & Butter by Gabrielle Hamilton

  2. Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel

  3. A Manual for Cleaning Women by Lucia Berlin (Truth: We haven't read this yet and it is off topic for this post. But we went live with a blank in this third spot--which we might go back to, actually, it looked kind of cool and reflects a lot about our current state of mind, maybe check back later to see how it turns out--and it was the first one we saw on the shelf.)

TV Shows | Here's the thing on this one: It is a four-part documentary. So we're counting it as all three tv shows. Lazy? Perhaps. But it sticks with our cooking with lady chefs theme and you are going to love it. Watch it now. Seriously.

  1. Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat | Samin Nosrat


  1. Mostly Martha (Such a terrible trailer. We're so sorry.)

  2. Julie & Julia

  3. Chef (Token dude.)

Twitter Follows

  1. Chrissy Teigen (Or, as the sitting President has referred to her, "John Legend's filthy-mouthed wife." Who is also hilarious and cooks. A lot. Enough to be a question in a NYT cooking survey. And even makes things you would eat.)

  2. Alison Roman

  3. Jose Andres | Important note: There is often a temptation to add one woman or one person of color or one person with a disability to a board or a company and call it good. Tokenization doesn't make progress in the direction of diversity. In that spirit, we've added a second man to this post. This also doubles as a recipe. Also, check out for the incredible work Jose Andres continues to do around the world.


  1. Smitten Kitchen's Roast Chicken with Schmaltzy Cabbage, an homage to Helen Rosner's roast chicken

  2. Helen Rosner's "Yes I Use A Hair Dryer To Make Roast Chicken--Here's The Recipe"

  3. Ina Garten's Cosmopolitan


  1. Serious question: Why don't they just go back to school when the quarantine is lifted? Why do we all look at the calendar and collectively throw up our hands and say something like, "Welp. If they can't go back by the middle of May, I guess it'll have to be September." How does that work? Shouldn't they just, you know, GO BACK? Like, in the summer? For poor and working families, not having to cobble together opportunities for three months might be a literal Godsend. So we're asking, could this be an option? Actually, we're asking why it isn't an option.

  2. And while we're rethinking how society might oughta work when we come back out into full light of day, we want ideas that subvert the overabundance of oppositional binary thinking: All or nothing, open or closed. C'mon, people, we can be more creative than this. What are the things (like schools having a long-ass summer break, which, btw, we generally attribute to a myth about an agrarian calendar rather than some early bias against young female teachers and the desire of rich folks to decamp to their summer homes) that we currently consider intractable that are actually broken things that we dutifully work around? If ever there were a moment to dump out the contents of our collective purses and throw shit out, that moment is now. Send us your ideas. We'll add them to the coming list of new reforms and policy ideas.

  3. Don't drink bleach.


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